Tuesday - 11/7/06

I asked God for a message. I was really at my wits' end. I was at a loss of what to do...

The song came on..Forever God is faithful..

Forever God is faithful, forever God is strong. Forever God is with us, forever and ever..

God is faithful . . . But I dont understand the things He does. I am where I am because of His truth..N I miss Him..

You have no idea..How much I wanted to be back in church..How much I wanted to leave my house in the middle of the night and look for Belle..

How can they expect me to do everything overnight?! To accept things when you give me everything, and you just take everything away ?!

What do you want me to do right now. Why did it have to be him..I loved him..I really did. I still do...And you knew that perfectly well. But you brought me up high and you let me fall. You say you were there to catch me. But I didnt feel your hands. I just felt the hard ground.

Ni na me ai ta..Wei she mo bu ba ta liu xia.. When he asked me that..I dont know how to answer..God, God, God..Cant you let me feel you when I need you..

I cant wait for Saturday...I cant wait for when I can come in front of Jesus and just pour out everything I have in my heart. I dont need this anguish right now...